My First Friendster Blogpost

Jan. 17, 2007

I just want to welcome you here

in my world…

you are very welcome!

be reaL!

you don’t need to be someone else…

=p

Ang jeje lang, pero that is still true for my public and private blogs.

Tonight i had a chance to read all of my friendster blog entries and boy, ang jeje and ang arte ko talaga noon. my blog was all about ranting and flirtng. Gahd. =))

I owe friendster so much friendships, so much memories. I am really glad na it gave us a chance to look back and keep the memories alive. Sabi ko nga sa FB status ko, So thoughtful of Friendster to let us download our profiles and export our photos before it shuts down. Kahit pinabayaan natin siya, inalala pa rin niya tayo. Sana ganun lahat ng nagmamahal, noh? Iniwan na at lahat, pagmamahal pa rin ang pinaiiral sa huli. Hahaha. 

Tomorrow I'd be reading the comments and testimonials posted on my profile. Pati na rin ang photos of the past. Hay, kaya nga I love taking pictures. I love the things that remind me of the past. 

Friendster, I owe you a lot. :)

A Little Conversation With Him

San Francisco Church

My feet brought me to San Francisco. I didn't really know why I went there until I was inside. I have been bothered by a lot of things the past month, and I had an opportunity to think of these things last Holy Week. Yes, questions have been answered, yet the answers opened a whole lot of questions - the answers to which not within my reach.

I sat at the left side, leftmost of the pew. The choir was singing at the right, laborers were painting the walls of the altar, and there were a few other people praying with me. The church was silent except for the choir's singing, birds always chirping. If only I could hear what was going on the minds of the people there, the silence would have been shattered to bits. But of course, I could not hear any. Only my mind and my heart battling to find the answers and my soul longing for His words and embrace - so much was going on inside me that it was enough to break the silence that bounced through the walls of San Francisco.

I poured it in - my stories and my tears; my questions and my fears.


An hour has passed and I sat down.
Still, the answers are not within reach. Still, ruled by my doubts and fears. However, I walked out the Church, light-heartedly. I know I just needed to talk to Him.

"Sige lang, magmahal ka lang. Ano man ang nangyayari at ano man ang mangyari, ang importante ay nagmamahal ka."

Good Friday

Yes, sometimes I struggle to understand His ways. But I believe. I do believe in Him.

Penitensya

Quoting Raffy Magno in his FB Status,

Ang hirap namang penitensya ang di kita makita ng halos isang linggo. Kems! :p

Off to Ragay today. Have a Happy Holy Week everyone! Let this be a time of discernment, silence, and rest. These are much deserved by you. :) So excited to see hundreds of my relatives!

Aunt and Cousin on the Karo

Del Gallego Family

Garcia Clan, Holy Week 2010

Late Night Conversations

I don't know but it's when the rest of the world is sleeping that I tend to engage in deeper conversations with a friend. Yes, it happens in daytime, too. But there is something with late nights that brings up a certain element of secrecy and mystery, something my past experiences would testify. Late night conversations open up a lot of doors to new beginnings. It's when possibilities present itself to our surprise. It is when two people extend themselves to each other in greater length, much to the vulnerability to one another.

I don't know why I'm typing these. I don't even know if these things make sense still. It's a quarter after one, and I'm zombie sleepy. Maybe I just wish to have someone to talk to til we drop. Maybe I miss my late night texting and online buddies. Or maybe, I just miss talking. I was home alone all day and I had no one to talk except for some of my friends thru text and thru web. No personal or verbal conversation for me today. And tonight I'm left with no one to talk to, not even thru text or thru web. Well there are people, certainly. Just that none of these people I am comfortable to talk to tonight (err today). I texted certain friends to check if they're still awake - they're already sleeping. Oh I think I'm having major typos and grammatical errors. Again I'm zombie sleepy.

I want to talk to a friend, or two. From evening to morning, from waking up to going to sleep. But I guess, not today. Maybe some other day. Maybe I just miss friends. Maybe I just miss talking. Maybe I should sleep now. Pardon the randomness of this post. Only when I'm almost sleeping. Zzzzz.

Now thinking if I should publish this. Read it all over and it made no sense. Oh well, maybe tomorrow it will.

Everybody Has These Days

Matampuhin. Moody. Masungit.

Tampo Effect. :)) In this picture: Ramon
Photo courtesy of Anj. 04/12/11

Name it, I've been experiencing intense mood swings for 2 days now. It really happens once in a while for no reason at all, kaya lang this is not my usual self and it affects aspects of my everyday living like working and loving. Yes naman, loving. And working on a summer break. Pero totoo, affected talaga. I just hope I go back to normal by tomorrow. Andaming gagawin, andaming aasikasuhin. Isa pa, walang lugar ang mood swings para sa isang taong nasa isang lugar na masaya.

All I needed today was a hug. And I thank Friend for giving me some. I've felt so much better since kanina. Got 'initiated' hugs from Ate Jese, too. Hahaha. At salamat din sa marami pang iba. 

Minsan, hindi ko naman talaga kailangan magsalita. 

Minsan, konting lambing lang naman ang kailangan.

Minsan, may mga bagay na nangyayari nalang talaga.

[Ang emo lang? XD]

A Principle on Friendship

We don't lose friends, we just lose people - when we come to the realization that they never were true to you. A principle that proves itself over and over again.

Ang status ko sa facebook na kasalukuyang bumebenta (read: reaping likes) ngayong gabi. Namench, may pinaghuhugutan akech. Pero hindi naman ganun kalalim, kasi kung ano man yung malalim na yun, nahugot ko na - matagal na. Medyo nauulit lang siya ngayon in the experience of my friends. Ito yung prinsipyong na-adopt ko noong panahon na lumong lumo ako sa pagkawala ng inakala ko noong matatag na pagkakaibigan. Ito yung prinsipyo na nagpaintindi sa akin na may mga pagkakataong kahit gaano ka kabuting kaibigan, hindi mo maaaring makaibigan ang taong hindi alam kung papano ito pahalagahan.

Kaya eto, Good Vibes lang ako. 

Ano pa nga ba ang makasisira sa kasiyahan ko ngayon? :)

The Sweetest Things (A Reply)

A reply to Kuya Myk's The Sweetest Things.



It's not that hard to touch me.
No, don't get me wrong. I mean, it's not that hard to touch my emotions. People close to me know how shallow I could be, in a good sense as I want to believe. Simple gestures of sweetness easily puts a smile on my face and makes me feel very grateful, big or small, it makes me feel really really grateful. That's why it wouldn't be a surprise if these are the sweetest things to get through Renzo Enrico Blanco.

1. Text me out of the blue. Random personal messages like, "Kumusta ka?" or "Hi, Renzo :)" This gives me the impression that you think of me or at least I pop in your head once in a while. I find it really sweet when someone checks on me because they just thought of me.
2. Walk me to the exit gate or door. Walking me to my house would be too much, but walking me to the exit is one really sweet gesture only a few could pull off. It's sweet if you do this after reading my post. But it's sweeter if you do this because you just want to.
3. Send me a smiley. This brightens up my day - be it a text message, a wallpost, a note in my book, sending me smileys is one sweet way to make my day.
4. Give me a rose. Only Dom, my good friend, has done this for me. It was for Christmas. It was really sweet of him, and I remember carrying it with me until the end of the day. Flowers and chocolates are cliche, yes, but it still is sweet.
5. Introduce me to your friends. Make me feel that you are really happy to have me and that you want me to get along with your friends because I am a special person in your life.
6. Ask me out - on a date. I've never been on a date. Yes, I've went out with people, but not on a date. For me, a date is going out and all along both of you acknowledge it as a date. Not because you went out does not mean you're on a date. It has to be mutual. Asking me out still is sweet, but on a date? Boy that is sweeeet.
7. Hug me. I like hugging and being hugged. I hug my friends when we see each other, when we are about to separate ways. This has become ordinary in a sense that it happens everyday with every friend I am with. So, the challenge? Make the hugs extra special. Make it sweet.
8. Be my sleeping companion. Intimate it is, but what makes this sweeter is being able to make me feel secure, comfortable, and loved. This is an effective way to test your rapport, respect, and intimacy.
9. Eat with me. I love food, and I love bonding over food. I believe sharing meals is as intimate as sharing the bed. I don't eat with people I am not close with, I'd rather eat alone or dine out. Also, bonding over food is a fun way to enjoy each others' company plus it is a perfect opportunity for a good and fruitful conversation. It's a bonus if you can cook for me.
10. Walk with me. On the road, on the corridors, on the beach, on the bridge, to anywhere, just walk with me. I love long walks, and I seldom do it with someone alone. Only a handful could keep up with my pace, a few people really special to me, people who could sustain the conversation and the connection between us - all while walking. One of the sweetest ways to spend time with each other, I must say.
11. Do something spontaneously sweet. I love spontaneity. I love sweetness. I love it together.

Those 11 and a countless more are the sweet ways to make me go awwweee.

But remember, always do your own thing and always be yourself. 

It's sweet to know that you can be yourself around me every time. 

It's sweeter to make me feel that way with you, too. :)

Did I just give a 12th? I better stop here. =p

How about you, what are the sweet things a person could do for you? :)

8th Day

I just finished my blog entry sa personal blog ko. Don't know how pero I'd be sharing the essence of the post here without actually dropping characters and other personal matters. Hahaha. So, here goes.

Today was back-to-lungga day! Yes, I had a meeting today with my OrSem Committee, and that was my official reason of visiting the school and the office again after a long time (3 days is long, okay?) Nakita ko mga gusto kong makita, na-hug ko mga gusto kong i-hug, nakasama ko mga namiss kong makasama. I miss my lungga life very much, pero still I am sticking to my decision to give my vacant time to myself, my family, and my friends outside Ateneo. No official business, no school for me. I explained it na rin to people who've been looking for me the past days, and glad they understand. Though kung ako lang talaga, araw-araw ako andun kahit wala akong summer class. Pero yan, the world outside had been waiting for 10 months, and it's about time naman to be with the outside world. 2 months lang naman hinihingi nila, what is 2 months sa another 10 months na 14 hours akong nasa school? Yes, I am still struggling to get used to not being in school; nababad kasi talaga ako. Pero 2 months lang. 2 months lang naman ang hinihingi sa akin. And the fairest thing to do is give it.

Nga pala, today is the day that ends the 7 days of missing him.
Though today starts another counting day I am away. Hay :)

7th Day Away

7th day away from you,

7th day of missing you.

Counting days won't do,

I know I have to be with you.

7th day without your eyes,

7th day without the smiles.

I can't take the distance, the miles,

An inch from you would be nice.

7th day, oh yes, it's the 7th day.

Wish there'd be no more 8th day.

Tomorrow I'm gonna hug you and say:

"Baby I Was Born This Way."

char.

Tomorrow I'm gonna hug you and say:

"I missed you... in every way, every day."

char ulit. cheesy naman nun.

Tomorrow I'm gonna hug you and say:

".....

...."

Ah basta, sa'min nalang dalawa yun. Kung ano man yun. :)

Good Vibes

After 10 goodnight tweets, still here I am, online. Wide awake.
Siguro I've been unconsciously looking for reasons to feel a little better regarding me missing the lungga and everyone else in school. I've been listening din to songs of sadness and longing. Yucks, emo.

Chat conversation lang naman pala with Charles ang makakapagpatulog sa akin.

Today

nakakapa-office ka pa man?

yea

summer class

kumusta duman? missing it so much.

:))

anu pa... pag may nghahapot sko kung haen ka

sabi ko man.. inda man kato ta may naaramang rest days ang bakla

lol

12:22am

hahaha. grabe ka daw. :))

isay man ang naghahanap sako? hahaha

kapay ka charles. napangirit ako. hahaha. nakakamiss nang maray ang office..

secret.. curious sya :)))))))))))))))

The rest of the conversation is censored. Hahaha. Basta yan, sabi ni Charles, hindi naman daw ako hinahanap ni ano, pero a lot of people are looking for me daw. Natuwa naman ako sa a lot of people. Mas natuwa pa ako nung inisa-isa niya yung mga taong yun. Hay, hindi naman pala ako nag-iisa.

Still missing people, but at least I'm happy to miss them this time.
No more mood swings, no more unhealthy longings.

Friday, please come soon.

Multiply and Teleport

Today, I went to Ateneo! After 2 long days!

...But I didn't get in. I just had to return Xo's Financial Accounting Book and that's it.

Grabe ang pagpigil sa urge na pumasok. You know, dumaan ng saglit sa lungga na miss na miss ko na (read: guidance office), sumaglit sa office ng deputy academic VP, dumalaw sa Campus Ministry Office, manukso sa Athletics Office, sa Philo Dept..  at sa lahat ng sulok na madalas kong puntahan sa school. Pero actually, hindi naman yung lugar yung pinupuntahan ko doon... yung mga tao. And I've been away from the community for just 2 days and I can't wait to get back. I promised myself na I would only go there this summer pag may official business like org meetings, coordination with offices, etc to give time for myself, my family, and my friends outside Ateneo. Babad din ako sa school the past sem, spending 14 busy hours of my day everyday there. So bale, 10 hours lang ako sa bahay, 8 of which is tulog ako so, mga 2 hours lang ako sa bahay everyday? Ahh. Grabe pala talaga. 6th Pillar Awardee ang drama. Hahaha.

Excited na akong mag-Friday kasi may meeting ang core group officers ng lungga sa araw na iyon. Umaga palang nasa school na ako niyan para mag-complete ng grade (kuno), kumuha ng SRA card, at siyempre, live the usual Ateneo life I learned to love and live everyday.

Bukod diyan, gusto kong magparami (wag kang dirty) at humayo sa iba't-ibang lugar tulad ng Quezon City, Ateneo Avenue, Legazpi, Daet, Iriga, Nabua, Bahrain, Ohio, Magsaysay, Manila, at kung saan-saan pa. Marami nanaman kasi akong namimiss na tao, at ang lalayo nila sa ngayon. I wish I could just fly back and forth to wherever pero restricted ako ng current circumstances like mimoy (read: money) matters and time constraints. Hay, hirap nga naman kasi igather sa isang lugar ang mga taong mahalaga, noh?

Kanina pala, sirang-sira ang mood ko sa di malaman na dahilan. Siguro nga kasi naubos energy ko kapipigil sa sarili ko pumunta sa loob ng school. Pero yan, masaya ako ngayon kasi magmimeet kami ng high school best friends ko sa bahay ng isa sa amin bukas. :)

Kanya-kanyang oras lang talaga siguro iyan. And I'm grateful na I am constantly given chances to be with the people I want to be with - lagi mang may namimiss, lagi naman masaya. Hindi na yata ako mawawalan ng kakasabikan, pero di rin yata ako mawawalan ng kaibigan. 

Sana naman. :)

Trusting Someone

Trusting someone means giving them the ability to destroy you completely, but at the same time, being confident that they won't. Sleeptight :*

-Text Message from Ate Barbz 

If You're Happy and You Know It...

I never thought that being happy could be so complicated.

Well maybe it's just me, being conscious and mindful of all the happenings and feelings around - things that try to penetrate my almost perfect picture of happiness. Things that, when well-thought of, should not be in the picture in the first place. But here they are, in constant motion, causing a blur.

I have learned that I was the one who let these things affect everything - and I take responsibility for that. How I wish I could take my actions and decisions back, but we all know I can't. So I'm gonna do what I've been doing since I decided to "don't care about all the pain in front of me...": appreciate the beautiful picture, ignoring the blur that surrounds it. A blur, a coffee stain, a faded photograph - it will still be one of the most beautiful picture there is to keep.

And to end this post, I continue the song by Leona Lewis quoted above,


"...I just want to be happy."

The International Food Shortage

Recently, a worldwide survey was conducted and the only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about the solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was, not surprisingly, a huge failure. Because:
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And, in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

An email by ROLAN JON "Rojo" G. BULAO, MA
Economics Cluster
Social Sciences Department
Ateneo de Naga University

What Am I Doing Here?

Why did I have to make another blog?

Well, that place was my own personal space. It was like, my own bedroom. Only the trusted and special people were allowed to enter. Little by little, I was becoming an alien to my own world. I had to delete some posts because it was not for just some other people to see. I used to only have my trusted people in my little cyber bedroom. But well, this is the internet.

So to keep the privacy, the secrecy, and sacredness of space,
I welcome you to my living room.
Welcome to thatrainbowcolor! :)